I thought I would have a simple and a wonderful Christmas this year…

…But as usual, it is crazy.

Turns out, father wasn’t going to celebrate Christmas with me, for the reason that I refused to come with him to celebrate Christmas at his girlfriend’s family residence. Another, I promised myself to serve the choir this Christmas season because maybe I wouldn’t be of presence in the season of Lent. Morning, when I got home from the mic-check-test at the Church, dad informed me that my Aunt and a family friend, Mrs. Lilia died.

As usual, I turned off my humanity just not to be too emotional, when we visited her to mourn at the family’s residence, dad cried with her living husband. He’s emotional because during the times when he and my mom got separated, Mrs. Lilia gave him numerous advice and acted as his confidant.

I too, was a regular guest inside their house, when Mrs. Lilia was still alive and walking, she would told me to come anytime and eat if my father left me at home unattended.

Later in the afternoon, Mom visited and as usual, I turned her away, I’m not yet in the mood to talk to her even if she was the only parent present at that time.

Evening came and my eldest brother called. He ranted about dad leaving me alone for Christmas just like what he did to him before. I told him that I’m alright, that I’m used to being all alone, but then he insisted that I am not alright. I assured him that I have a company of my kitten, will be serving the mass with the Choir (who are also my beloved family in some other way.) and will be staying at Liane’s house (as usual I came over, ‘cause it’s the only place I can go to whenever I’m alone and in need of a family atmosphere.). He even felt guilty that he should’ve move me to his home if this happened, and he got really, really worried of what might happen to me.

Many times, I said to him that I am fine, and that I’ll get used to it, that it’s just a thing to get over because one day I’ll be leaving abroad and be independent. He said that I should not get used to it and that he said that I should not do the same thing to my future family. “I have better plans for them” I said;  satisfied that I will call him when I reached Liane’s house.

Days of loneliness, I realized that a lot of people worried about me, many times I would shut off my humanity just to get over it, but times like these made me vulnerable and in need of comfort.

 I went to the Church and serve, turns out, I got unexpected gifts from my choirmates  (although they gave everyone, but the thought is still there. :D) . When I got to Liane’s house, I got a surprise gift too, she also even got worried because I may have been harmed by a lunatic man and that all of his victims were women who are alone inside the house. I told her that I am fine and she said that I was abducted before, but then I told her again that it doesn’t matter anymore, but she insisted on telling me that I should really take care of myself and a lot of people got worried. I am thankful that I celebrated Christmas with them this year; to my surprise, I even learned how to cut ham into thin slices.

I received lots of Christmas greetings in my cellular phone, but as I got tired of replying, I got another worrying tweet from Kat (whose my friend ever since 2^nd year high school, and we keep in touch through the wonders of modern technology.) and looks like I owe her an assuring message and a sweet greetings on the morrow.

Dealing with loneliness is what each of us are fighting for, struggling to overcome its torture, but as we come over it, it makes us stronger and still in hope of a better simple life ahead.

P.S: a tip whenever you feel lonely: Pray, letting all your troubles and heavy burdens lay up to His hands and remembering that God is in our midst, will make you feel comforted and burdens light.

Reblogged from the Late Bloomer's post entitled "Crazy Holidays". This post is the complete version.